T e m p o r a r y
by Platinum-Daylight
Summary: She knew how this would turn out, if only she just kept admiring him from afar everything've been okay. She realized it too late and he moved on too fast. The beginning is bittersweet and so is the end. She finds that the only person she could turn to is her friend Silver from Johto. Based off RL. Ikarishipping & Anti-CavalierShipping
1. Bittersweet

I knew this would happen. I'm not surprised, well I didn't want to be anyways. I may be girly but I was not one of those gullible girls who _choose _to run around with their hopes up and guard down. For me it was the other way around: I expected the worst to come out of this and only the worst. The beginning was much happier than the end and even the start was still dreadful. Now all I'm left with is a bittersweet memory...

It all started a week before Christmas, I was fine the way I was or so I thought. I didn't need anyone to tell me what I felt or if I was denying my own heart. I'm not the type of person who despises emotions or lied to myself but realizations can really piss you off. Maybe it was because I never took anyones words to my heart. Then I realized in life, words are understood more when they are felt rather than heard. Thats why the saying "You never know what happens" really hit me. To me they were meaningless words used as an attempt to comfort someone which I thought failed. I was told that many times by my best friend May, I often rolled my eyes and moan "ugh, whatever" in response. I thought I was being realistic but really I was doubting myself to the point where I came up with crazy scenarios. I had no idea I was capable of someone having feelings for me, the way I also felt about this particular trainer.

Apparently the Pokemon training academy was selling these things called "candy grams" for a dollar. You pick a card, write a message, stick a candy cane on it and on the day before Christmas break, a Delibird would go to your last class of the day and give it to the person you wrote it to. I didn't really pay attention to the candy gram stands until my friend Zoey told me in the computer research lab she was gonna help sell them and asked if there was a someone I wanted to give one too. I looked up at the roof in thought, the first person that came to mind was Ash's rival in Sinnoh. The image of his face appeared in my head, "P-Paul" I thought aloud, I put my hand over my mouth, "I mean-" my face heated up bright red, I had that "I'm screwed" feeling twisting in my stomach. "You like Paul?" Zoey asked me in surprise, "the guy with purple hair who's in all advanced training classes?" Okay how could she just assume that? I mean, all of the other trainers are sending it to their friends and they don't "like" them. I bet their of the opposite genders too!

"Oh HELL no!" I blurted out, "how could you think that!" I screamed. Why did I say his name? Why did he come to mind when Zoey asked the question? And why was I panicking over it when- "You were blushing" Zoey, interrupted my train of thought, "and nobody over-reacts like that when they _don't_ like someone" the brunette pointed out. I took a deep breath "Well I don't know him _enough_ to like him like _that_ so I don't" I replied calmly. Thats right! I only walk pass him sometimes and he calls me "Troublesome" when ever I annoy him. I can't possibly like that thing! He's so cruel to my friends, he always wears that hatred glare when he sees us and the guy practically abuses Pokemon! Yes, after three years he hasn't changed. I still barely knew him even if I often met him on the road with Ash for that many years.

"It doesn't matter" Zoey said, "you smiled at the thought of him, admit it" she said with a smirk. I growled softly at this, this is ridiculous, he's Paul I don't hate the guy but I can't admit something I'm not sure of, and I'm VERY sure I DON'T like him. I rarely even think of him, but now that she mentions me "smiling" at "the thought of him" there was this tiny piece of memory I had that happened like, two days ago.

It was our annual Christmas concert, everyone in Choir was supposed to participate in it for a major grade and we had to stay to watch the Band and Orchestra since they watched the Choir students.

_Flashback_

_After everyone was lined up on the steps of the stage, we waited for the audience to settle down. I looked down on the corner at the bottom of the stage at all the Band and Orchestra members. Everyone was wearing the same thing and they pretty much looked the same too, except for this one kid with purple hair that stood out of the crowed- wait could it really be? I tilted my head directly at the purple haired kid in the Band section._

_Paul?_

_To my surprise I never knew he was in band. I didn't even knew the dude was musically inclined. I can't really imagine him playing the saxophone...which was the exact instrument he was holding! Now in Ash's eyes this would be hilarious but to me, it was kind of normal I mean its not like this was news or anything. The saxophone kind of suited him in a way, it went really well in that band tux he was wearing which he looked extreamly cute in- wait _

_WHAT? _

_I slowly turned myself to the crowed facing everyone. The music began and Jigglypuff was the composer. It tapped its little stick on the stand and whirled it around. Orchestra began playing and I focused all my attention to what I was going to do next._

_Next thing I knew I zoned out in the middle of May's solo. I was so dazed I couldn't even hear these loud speakers pumping in my ears! Luckily I snapped out of my daydream and got to hear one last line from her voice before the song ended._

"_And a Jirachi on a pecha berry tree!"""'' Misty finished off. I could tell everyone really did like her performance, everyone except Paul. I looked down at the band section, his face remained emotionless throughout the whole event, I can't tell what he's thinking I mean does he even __**like**__ being in band the way he likes being a Pokemon trainer? Well I assume he __**does**__ like training Pokemon anyways, since he works so hard doing it. I just hope he really does take Band seriously because I can't stand people who are in a musical performing arts elective and don't even like being in it. Though I will assume he likes being in it because Paul's not the type to waste time doing something that seems pointless to him._

_After the performance of both Band and Orchestra the concert was over and I left. Despite my secret compliment towards his suit and slight attention to him. I didn't think about him the whole night._

_**Back to real life**_

I shook my head after that flashback, "Okay snap out of it Dawn!" I told myself. I didn't think too much about what I was just thinking about. I ignored everything Zoey said, until I went to my next class. Which is a Pokemon economics class, the only class I have _him, _this was my last class I would have throughout the day and I have this class with Paul. I'm not complaining, its just not a way to end my day after being told "you do like him!" like three times in the previous class, now I have to _see _him which would be hard to avoid sit I sit next to the guy.

Do I really like him? I keep asking myself. Nah, I should know that myself. I mean just because Zoey tells me I do and points out the supposed proof doesn't mean I do. I don't need anyone to tell me that. I cheerfully went on with my day without another thought of Zoey in my head, only a few of them occurred but at least I wasn't looking at Paul several times or admiring the way he looked like I did at the Christmas concert- okay change of subject!

May looked at me in an odd way, "Your not letting Zoey's words get to your head are you? You have to think very carefully about this you know, we've been through it before" Yes its true. I _have_ been through the "do I really like this purple haired weirdo?" thing. See I've been having dreams of him lately and- wait I thought I was gonna change the subject! I shook my head once again because of the thought of him. Anyways the results were the same, I don't like him I really don't.

Despite that I really don't have feelings for him, I'm still going to send him a candy gram since Zoey said I don't have to put my name. I know, I know, why would I be shy about putting my name if I don't like him blah blah blah. Well you see...I actually don't know. My other best friend Misty walked over to me and May. "Look Dawn" the red-head whispered knowing Paul was right there. "I know your not sure about this since Zoey brought it up...damn her, anyways don't give in and believe you have feelings for him because if you do, you might actually start to" Misty said.

I nodded. Misty was right, if I "admit" it then I will and I'm not even there yet. Maybe I _do_ have some kind of feelings for him but maybe it was an infatuation? No. Way to wrong for that. I need time to figure this out.

About three days after that I came to a conclusion, I do like Paul. It was all right there, my heart beats a bit faster when I'm near him, his scent gets me dazed (for like one second anyways, then I snap of of it) and I always smile at the smallest interactions I have with him. Like whenever he calls me troublesome or claims not to remember my name. He always has that smirk that makes me giggle in some way. His smirk was the closest thing to a smile and it was the cutest thing he had worn on his face.

I told May and Misty that I had finally came to my realizations and that I am being fully honest with myself. They weren't surprised, I guess they saw it coming but I didn't, they probably knew more about my own feelings than I do myself! Though its alright, Their my best friends, its only okay if _they_ know more about me than myself. I thought very hard about this and decided that I can only admit it if I am sure and now I am.

The saddest realization I came up with though, is the fact that he will never ever like me back. While it was obvious that I like him it was obvious that he didn't. He's too wrapped up in his own training to acknowledge anyone. I can't even expect him to remember my name let alone return these stupid feelings. This was hopeless, this was ridiculous and this was nothing but a bittersweet crush.

**A/N: This is based off real life like it says in the summary, I wasn't going to get happy and hopeful from something useless. Paul is based off a guy I like in RL and the things that happended between Paul and Dawn are the same that happended to me. Except for the fact that Paul is much sexier and colder than him. The guy I like is crazy, immature, a giant smart ass, but he doesn't show emotion and its hard (for me) to read him. Zoey is based off the girl whos my next door neighbor and classmate, she hates that guys guts ahaha. She thinks hes ugly, stupid, and weird, but anyways, May is based off a girl name Angie and Misty is based off Helen. Those two are my best friends in the whole wide world and they helped me write this fic. There was another girl who inspired me to write this but I'll tell ya'll about it in the next chappie. Oh and by the way, those things actually WERE called "candy grams"**


	2. Impossible

The next day I walked to the candy gram stand with one poke-dollar only to find Zoey absent. _Crap,_ I thought, nobody else can know who I plan to send it too! My feet lifted up in the other direction. I decided to do this tommorow, _yea that'll be the day, _I thought to myself sarcasticly.

"And where do you think _your_ going young lady?" A voice spoke from behind.

Of course I knew who that was, and she knew what I was about to do.

"Misty..."

"Dawn if you don't do it now you'll never do it at all" Misty said. She pulled my arm, dragging me to the candy gram stand. _Crap, crap crap!_ I knew where this was going. Though I might as well get it over with.

Unfortunetly I was the next person in line and the person in front of me was now done. Man I don't wanna live through this, people are gonna know. "No need to worry..." I told myself, _no need to worry..._

"Hey Dawn!" The brown haired girl behind the stand greeted me cheerfully, it was Bianca.

"Hi!" I faked the cheeryness in my voice, "Can you make this one out to..." I gulped, "Paul?"

She giggled, "You like him?" Bianca asked.

What the hell is wrong with these people? Okay scartch that. What the hell was wrong with **ME** I didn't need to be so uncool about this, this is why people thought I liked him.

"Just write it..." I grumbled, "Oh! And don't put its from me!" I yelled.

"Okay, okay..." Bianca said. She selected four candy grams of different color choices, "Which color do you want?"

The colors shown were red, blue, green, and yellow. I've always pictured myself sending Paul a red candy gram so I chose red, plus it kind of fitted him in a way. "Red please" I decided.

The girl passed me the card and I quickly passed it back, "You write the message for me" I said, "i don't want him to see my hand writing" I admitted in shame.

Bianca's face expression seemed surprised and unsure but she smiled, "What do you want me to write?"

"Merry Christmas, Turtwig FTW" I said softly, yes I know, random and stupid but it was much cuter in my head. The reason why I wanted to put "Turtwig FTW" was because Paul had a Torterra which was the final evolution of a Turtwig, he seemed to love it so much since it was a strong Pokemon in battle. I think it might also be his favorite Pokemon of his whole party. _Ugh, another reason for him not to like me, I'm too stupid and random._ Though its not like I was bashing myself over a guy. I was just pointing out the reasons for the impossibilities.

A slight giggle was heard from Biancas side, it was Brianna: Drew's biggest fan girl, but aside from that she just now found out about my crush! How obvious and oblivious can I be?

"That'll be one dollar please!" Brianna perked up.

"Thanks" I grumbled handing her the poke.

In the corner of my eye I saw Briana write "From: Someone" and inserted in a smiley face.

"Gah!" I screamed snatching the marker from her hand crossing it out.

"Really?" Brianna looked at me oddly.

"Yes! Really!" I yelled, I knew Paul wouldn't take smiley's seriously, he would think it was from someone who liked him, but then again I didn't put my name so he would know either way, though I'm not gonna risk it.

"You know" Brianna began, "Paul got ran over a car once, last year" she said.

I blinked, okay I did NOT need to know that, but hearing this just made Paul sound like the most dumbest guy in the world. How the heck did that happen?

"Wow..." I managed to say, I rushed the hell away from the candy gram stand after hearing this.

Later in first period's Ethics class, I was questioning myself, "Why did I spend a _dollar_ on him for?" I think I questioned myself out loud since Misty commented "Geez Hikari I didn't know you were that cheap!"

I sighed, "I spent a dollar, on a piece of construction paper with writing on it"

"Its just a dollar" Misty rolled her eyes, "Although I wouldn't say it was worth it" she added.

I laughed a little, it really _was_ just a freakin dollar. Though I do wonder what will he think when he recieves it, the thought just makes me sick inside my stomach. What would he say? What will he do? _Crap_ I should have thought this through, this is gonna me damn humiliaiting. I sighed, all well.

Finally, the bell rang. I rushed out of the room and it didn't take long for May and Misty to catch up. Suddenly, it was like a lighting bolt striked my stomach.

"Guys...I think I'm on my..." I said holding my stomach.

"Well check later" Misty blunted with concern, she held my shoulders with her hands assisting me to my next class.

"It's not that bad...but its like a baby is kicking or something!" I told Misty.

May put her hand on my back, "Come on..."

We rushed to the Choir room walking fast. As we did, we just _had_ to encounter _him_ in the hallway.

"Aw fuck!" I cried gripping on my stomach.

"Cramp?" A voice commented passing by.

I faced the person who just said that then found myself mentally blushing. It was Paul. "Shut the fuck up!" I yelled, see what I told ya? The SMALLEST interactions make me dazed and happy.

"Heh, heh" Paul somewhat laughed (if I could call it that) forming a smirk and left. The hell did he think he was?

I giggled as we turned away from each other, that was weird...but he was cute.

Misty shook her head in unapproval, "Oh wow..." she said.

"Hehe" May chuckled.

I honestly can't remember what happend that day. My thoughts were half on my studies and half on Paul. That was just nice, the last thing I wanted anyone to know was that all I thought about was boys. Not that anyone could ever find out what I was thinking about side from May and Misty, those guys are like mind readers!

Anyways, I only remember what happened in 6th period since I have Zoey for that class. She seems very excited about this whole thing even though she wasn't exactly a girly person. After I admitted I liked Paul...well...she sqeualed...and it was quite surprising.

"Eep!" She screamed shaking her head with her hands placed on her cheeks.

I sweatdropped, I guess she coudldn't deny the side most girls had, ahaha.

"I don't know what you see in him though!" Zoey exclaimed still girly-fied about the whole thing.

"Well..." I blushed, "hes really cute...and-"

"Bleach!" Zoey faked puked, "Hes not cute! How can you stand looking at the guy! Hes ugly, hes crazy, AND HE ABUSES POKEMON!" She yelled out.

I sweatdropped again, one minute it was "Aww, thats so cute!" then its, "What the hell are you thinking!"

"No hes not hes cute!" I defended him, making my blush darker. Surprisingly Zoey didn't seem to notice, or else she would have pointed it out making me feel shameful.

Later we got on about who _Zoey_ liked, so thatexplains why shes all girly about this! Because shes all lovestrucked too! Well...lovestruck isn't what _I'd_ use but you know what I mean. TO my surprise the girl has a huge crush on someone in my Pokemon Musical class, though shes expecting me to guess who it is.

"His name starts with a R" Zoey said.

"Hmm...Red?" I guessed.

Zoeys put her hand over her mouth in disgust, I didn't know if that was necessary but I do know that it meant "Hell no"

"L-let me spell it for you..." Zoey said.

I nodded.

"R" Zoey started.

I nodded again raising my eyebrows, she already told me what it started with!

"u" Zoey said.

I started thinking about who else was in my class...not a guy with a name that starts with "Ru"

"b" Zoey murmered.

"Ruby!" I said slightly loud.

Zoey giggled and blushed then nodded, "I'm thinking about sending him a candy gram..."

This was too cute.

"Ah!" I yelped, "Thats so cute!"

"I'm too nervous though" Zoey added shyly, "but I might do it..."

I've never seen Nozomi so shy before! This isn't like her! I guess this is what its like when you have a crush on someone. Her actions are exactly what I'm feeling: dazed, shy, nervous, girly.

"Yea you should!" I replied slightly laughing.

We kept discussing our romance life until the next class started and I headed to the last class. Even if I'm unsure if Paul likes me back, I am happier to be in this class I always liked this class anyways since Lyra was in it. It'd be stupid to look foward to a class because of a boy.

Speaking of Lyra, I just remembered that I had to tell her! I walked over to her desk with some news she'll find interesting. I just hope she can keep this quiet.

"Lyra!" I called.

Lyra turned around, "Oh hey Dane!" she replied cheerfully.

"I just remembered I had something to tell you" I smiled.

"Okay" Lyra said, I could tell she was wondering.

"You know when you called yourself a cupid on me and Ash's journey?" I asked before giving her the news.

Lyra beamed and said, "Oh! You finally realized your love for Ash so you came to me for advice!"

Did the girl have to be so loud? She was certianly loud enough to catch _his_ attention. Paul turned around raising his eyebrow. Damnit now he thinks I like Ash.

"No!" I yelled, "Its something like that though..." My tone went down.

"Ahh" The mushroom headed trainer nodded, "So who is it? Kenny? Barry? or even Conway?"

"NO!" I practically screamed out, then sighed, "I plan to send a candy gram to him"

"To _who_?" Lyra asked, emphasizing that i wasn't making things clear.

"Promise you won't tell?" I said.

The girl groaned, "Promise"

"Someone in this room" I hinted.

It didn't take long for Lyra to pin point my crush.

"_Paul?_" Lyra whispered hoarsely.

"Not so loud!" I shouted.

"He didn't even hear!" Lyra shot back.

"S-Sorry" I half faced Lyra in shame.

Lyra did react like a normal girl would, however she also reacted the way other girls would knowing this boy happened to be Paul. Of course she went "Aww" but she also gave me the surprised "are you on crack?" expression. She also hated his guts.

Why did I tell her of all people? Because I can trust her, and shes friendly. Plus, at least she was being nice about it.

Class started. Everyone sat down and Lyra switched her seat next to mines.

"Do you think he likes you back?" Lyra asked.

"No..." I sighed, "He can't possibly like me...I'm too...me" Okay yes, its not the "Cheerful Dawn" personality but I really am the type of person who loves herself but won't show it, though I am being for real about this, Paul can't like _me_ of all people. Its not possible. I don't even think I fit in Pauls criteria for a girl...which I don't know what standereds I have to meet to reach that crteria!

"Whats wrong with being "too you"?" Lyra asked flatly, "If I were you I'd get that boys phone number and text him "Hi" then Paul would be like "Do I know you?" then you'd be like "It's Dawn" and be like "You know, daybreak. The oppisite of Dusk" Lyra went on, "Then he'd be like "Oh yea" and you'd be like "I like you" and he'd be like "I like you too" with a smiley face!" She beamed.

Did she know Paul enough to know he wouldn't put "smileys"? I chuckled though, her fantasy of us texting was just hilairious. As if it would happen but hey, a girl can dream. Lyra sure had a big imagination.

"I don't even know if he'll even come to school on the day he'll recieve his candy gram I mean its the day before Christmas break..." I said sadly.

"Oh please, its Paul" Lyra assured, "Of course he'll come to school"

Its not like the kid has perfect attendence but he sure didn't skip a day of class.

"I guess..." I gave in.

I glanced over at Paul for a moment, _He'll never...its impossible, so impossible that it shatters all the possibilities in the world if possibilities could be endless then the impossibilies are infinent._

**It didn't happen exactly like that, and there was more than one person. Lyra is a mix of four people: This girl who played cupid, the girl I talked to in the restroom, the girl who hated his guts (not Zoey) and a tomboyish person. The girl I talked to in the restroom was the girl who went "And you'd be like, then he'd be like, I like you this, I like you back" ahaha. Um...I put a bit of the past in here which was the past BEFORE Christmas. See I had a big mouthed friend who was talking to me about this OTHER guy I liked and the guy I like now just happened to be there and he looked at me strange. Later he joked around and went "hey there's -insert his name" and I was like "Da f*ck?" ahahaha.**

**NOW! I have to explain why I needed to write an Ikari fic based off RL. See, I read another ikari fic of an author name Vamprissqueen and it was beautiful! Hers was also based off real life and then the guy I liked...well you'll see why I wrote this when its complete! She wrote it because she wanted to get her feelings off her chest and I will too, she wasn't afraid to get her feelings off her chest or how people will react and I need to get over this, it really does work. Within each word I type dealing with this I feel so much better. Her story is called "My biggest mistake" no need for a link when you can type in her pen name and go to her profile ahaha. He fic was more depressing but as the chapters update mines will be as well.**

**"I wasn't looking for any sympathy, hatred, anger, or anything else you could possibly be feeling because of it. All I wanted was to vent"**

**"Writing was my only escape" **

**"**please don't think too much less of me afterwards...but I must warn you that this is neither humorous or happy, even. Read only if you wish to understand my situation..."****

****"** I just had to get this out here, where no one really knows who I am and can't judge me because of that."******

******-Lexi******


	3. Candy grams

**Just to let you know, there's some Paul POV in here and this was the best Paul POV I could do since this is based off RL. If he's not in chracter then at least it's not COMPLETELY OOC. If I had Paul IC then I would have made my life OOC and I can't just change reality like that even if it was the past.**

**Umm...everything that Dawn and Paul discuss is face to face but In RL it was over facebook, most convo's I had were there (until the next few chapters) Oh! and btw! we don't actually have dorms. my school is retarded, and so the only way to make it less retarded is to make everything bounce off right XD**

_Today was the day_

The group of people who were selling candy grams along with some Delibirds, will come to our last class of the day and deliver the candy grams. The thought of Paul recieving it made my heart beat, it was racing but not in a blissful, dreamy, dazed kind of way. It was horrible, I wanted to take my heart out of my chest that was caged in my skeletons and crush it. Yes I know, its not very "Dawn-like" of me to think this way, but this was comepletly childs-play. I blame _him_ for being so cute.

Why must Arceus curse me with this stupid crush? Okay maybe I'm being too bitchy and pessimistic about it but I still find it reasonable to ask (out of nowhere) why is/ does this have to happen to me? Why have I been brought back the most terrible feeling in the world out of something so small?

I even went as far as _dressing up_ (only a little bit, I always look stunning anyways!) for him. I had worn a blue head band and simple silver hoop earings with a blue scarf that matched the headband. My bangs were parted to the side and instead of my usual pink boots these were black. I didn't do too much because I will be honest, I do care about my looks. Just for contests though, and in general but I always wore the same thing and looked decent and when it came to boys I had no thought about how I looked.

I turned to the side finding my friends coming over to me. May was skipping and Misty walked casually.

"Today's the day!" May jumped over to me in cheeriness.

"I wonder how he's gonna react..." I looked down in glumness.

"Oh come on!" Misty came in elbowing me, "What's the worst that can happen? At least he won't know its you"

I sighed. That was the worst part because if he DID know it was me...oh Arceus, the humiliation would scar me for life. I hated myself for being like this, this was over **SOME BOY** that I barely knew. I'm never like this, if I was it's not over a guy. I didn't want to lose pride or respect so I chose to me negative about this whole thing, at least it made me look mature mentally even though its not like anyone else was gonna know.

Class started, class past, lunch came, and then six period came. The class before the last one. I walked over to a counter that had stacks and stacks full of candy grams. I was afraid mines weren't in there and that all these irritating heart beats were for nothing. Yes, I was THAT paranoid. I found myself backed away from the stacks by Zoey.

"Hey, were very busy right now" Zoey said.

"I just need to see if mines is in there" I told her.

"Its in there" Zoey assured, "now leave, we need to prepare"

I nodded and left the stacks alone.

"Don't be so worried Hikari" Misty beamed, "Remember, "no need to worry!" she imitated me. **(A/N: I'm a huge Dawn fan in RL so I say that alot)**

Now was not the right time to quote me. Yes, it was my line but like everyone else it made me worry even more.

"Dawn it's going to be fine, don't dwell on it too much" May joined in.

Maybe I shouldn't be worrying. After all, it wouldn't make a difference if I worried or not because the results are gonna stay the same. Except, I don't _know_ what will be the outcome of this. Now I'm getting worried even more! Oh great. I guess I didn't know I was showing worried expressions because May and Misty are now groaning as they looked at me.

"It's going to be _fine_" May repeated softly.

I decided not to worry, I really was being too paranoid about this. It needed to stop. So I smiled looking up at May and Misty.

"Okay" I said, "Lets just see where this goes"

They smiled as well.

We spent the rest of the period being stupid, letting out our Pokemon, and simply having fun since this was the day before Christmas break.

The bell rang, my heart jumped in nervousness. It wasn't because the bell loudly interuppted our fun surprising me. It was because I knew that was when my last class was about to start. _Paul is in there, and he's going to recieve the candy gram. _

Misty and May walked along side me. We saw Paul head straight to the classroom and we went right in. Later class had begun, Professer Rowan let us have the whole period off from class work and everyone started chatting away. The three of us sat with Lyra, talking of course.

"I need your agenda later" I told her. Today of all days was the WORST day to leave my agenda at home.

"Why?" Lyra asked.

"I'm going to the restroom. I don't wanna be here when Paul gets the candy gram..." I mumbled.

"Did you put your name on it?" Lyra questioned.

"No..."I said.

"Then there's nothing to worry about!" Lyra exclaimed, of course she would think that.

I sighed, "I just don't wanna see what happens when he gets it."

"Okay...but let me use it first!" Lyra said as she took her agenda and skipped over to the Professer.

"We'll come with you too" Misty said.

May was behind her nodding, "We'll stay in there as much as you need us too"

The girl took a freaking HOUR out of the class room. She took so long that she came right back when the people from the candy gram stands and a group od Delibirds came to our class. At least she was right on time. Lyra handed me her agenda and I quickly got Mr. Rowan to sign it, Misty and May got theirs out and got them signed too. A Delibird walked over to his desk and layed a small stack of candy grams on there.

Professer Rowan called out the names of everyone who had a candy gram addressed to them, "Barry, Melody, Drew, Conway, Lyra...and Paul" he smirked at Paul.

Lyra peaked over his desk over my shoulder looking at Paul's candy gram, "You put _someone?_" Lyra asked.

Paul stood up and walked over standing next to me. I quickly nodded and ran out the room, May and Misty were ahead of me. I could feel my face burning hot. I heard everyone go "Oooh" as they heard that Paul had recieved one. They also made a "Damn" sound when I dashed through the door.

"Calm down Dawn" Misty said walking up to me holding my shoulder.

I felt like those girls who were about to cry when they found out something tragic about who knows what. Yea I know, stupid. Nothing bad really did happen but I began to regret what I did. _Why did I send him one in the first place?_ I asked myself.

**In the classroom (Paul's POV)**

I turned around when I heard my name. Who would send a candy gram to me? Maybe it was one of my friends or something but they knew I didn't care much for that stuff. I got up and recieved my candy gram, I stood next to Troublesome for a brief moment. Rowan signed her agenda and the girl zipped out of the room as fast as a Pikachu.

"A girls gotta go I guess" I mumbled to myself.

I looked at the contents on the outside of the candy gram, "To: Paul, From: Someone" it said, there was a mark next to the word "Someone" heh, guess this person was shy. I opened the candy gram, "Merry Christmas :) Turtwig FTW" it said. I closed it. Before anything else I needed to know who was it from.

Everyone was all up in my shoulders, why are they so damn nosy? I wasn't peaking through anyone else's shit. Plus, I was about to become claustrophobic since these inconsiderate people were clogging up my space sealing any air I could have breathed in. Okay it wasn't _that_ serious but neither was this candy gram.

"Maybe it's a secret admirer" Barry pointed out.

"oooh" A few girls giggled.

I ignored them. I hate it when people make these stupid reactions and comments about the most insignificant things that happen. Seriously, _Lyra_ got like two candy grams and it was from Misty and May I believe. Were they gonna assume they were a lesbian threesome? Idiots.

I turned back again, where Troublesome was standing before she had ran out of the room. _Maybe it was..._

Lyra came up to me. Probaly about to retort some lame joke or something. She seemed to dislike me for some reason which I never really gave two-shits about.

"What'd it say?" Lyra asked in a serious tone.

"Merry Christmas, Turtwig FTW" I told her, why the hell did she care?

She nodded and mumbled something to herself. I would have asked, but I don't wanna know and I honestly don't care.

**Lyra's POV**

He must have suspected it but the expression he put on said "What the hell is this?" _Dense-ass, _I thought_._ He may be cold but he was really stupid. One of the reasons why I despised him. All well, love is love. Dawn chose _that_ over Ash. I suppose Ash is more dense then Paul though.

I walked away from the little creep after he told me what Dawn had wrote. Typical of her to write that. Just like how typical it was for Paul to put on that clueless look. Honestly I knew something about Dawn and Paul went down in Dawn's head. She told me she's been having dreams about him, there was this _one_ dream that had been very peculiar to me. It was about Christmas but her dream happened a month after Thanksgiving break.

_Flashback_

_I called Dawn about our twin outfits for twin day, we talked about cloths for awhile and sorted things out. After that we started talking about Anime, then moved on to what Dawn was about to tell me in class. She did text me saying that her dream was about Paul. Heh, heh. I gave him a look during class. I seriously felt bad for Dawn about her dream._

_So here's what the Coordinator told me:_

_"Umm...It was Christmas break" Dawn began, "we got locked up in school and we found out the school had a second floor! we went down and found a Christmas tree. We ended up sleeping under it and I woke up in his arms"_

_WHAT THE HELL DAWN._

_"So you lost your virginity under the tree?" I asked bluntly._

_"What!" Dawn yelled over the phone._

_"Well you said it was pleasent, and you guys slept under it" I said._

_Man this was too funny._

_"S-S-Shut up!" Dawn yelled again._

_Back to reality_

Then there was this other time...

_Flashback_

_I talked to Dawn over the phone again, we also talked about another one of her Paul dreams. _

_"I had a dream that everyone assumed I liked Paul" Dawn said, she was not amused. But I was!_

_"Heh, heh" I laughed evilly, "You are having these dreams of him"_

_Again, just like last time Dawn shouted through the phone about how much she didn't like him but then..._

_"Sure Paul may be __**cute**__ and really __**funny**__ but..." Dawn went on._

_"Do you __**hear**__ yourself?" I said, seriously I knew Dawn was crazy but..._

_"What?" Dawn asked cluelessly._

_I faceplamed, the two were a perfect match. Crazy, dense, stupid. It's not like I want them to be a couple though, I hate Paul and Dawn is my friend so definetly no._

_"You like him don't you?" My tone went down._

_"NO!" Dawn practically screamed. I do NOT. _

_The yelling wasn't helping her, first off I can't hear a word she's saying ranting around with "I wanna punch Paul for appearing in my dreams" and "Arrrgh! You know what!" and then, "You also appeared in my dreams so you stop doing that too!"_

_Like, really?_

_Dawn continuously went around about "Don't get the wrong idea" this and "It's not like I trust you or anything just because I'm telling you" I hope she finds a man to handle her one day, specificly Ash._

_In the end Dawn decided she didn't like Paul after all. Of course the girl would deny her feelings. Just like the way she did with Ash. I just hope the next time she falls in love that she won't deny it, she and Ash were very cute._

**Reality and normal POV**

I talked to May and Misty in the restroom for awhile.

"He probaly thinks its stupid, what am I going to do? This is so mortifying!" I had burst into sudden embarrasment.

"Hey calm down" Misty repeated, "he doesn't know it's you"

"But I made it obvious! I ran out of the room!" Not that I regretted that anyways, it was better than seeing Paul's reactions.

"Dawn, Dawn, Dawn." May turned me around holding my shoulders, "look at me"

I nodded breathing in and out.

"Everything is fine. It's not the end of the world. Nobody knows anyways and if someone does then it'll be Misty, Me and Lyra" Got it?

I nodded again. My heart rate was about to burst before May had told me all this. Don't get the wrong idea, it may sound stupid for my heart to be torturing me because of some boy but its not my fault that it's doing this.

I've had enough of my stupid heart. If I hadn't sent that stupid candy gram I wouldn't have to feel this way. I poured my heart out to Misty and May for a few minutes.

"Dawn, stop putting yourself down for liking him. Your a teenager, this is normal" May said, "This is why your feeling so miserable right now! It's because your scared of looking like a stupid lovesick little girl but your not Dawn!"

"Well I feel like one" I grumbled, "If I'm not then why is my heart beating like this because of him?"

Misty laughed out bitterly, "Do you honestly think it makes you lovesick to have something happen to you because of a boy? Dawn you know this is just a crush, enjoy it. You know what you know. Nobody is here to judge you"

I hugged them. I should have just _enjoyed_ this blissful feeling of a crush rather than judge myself and criticize my own feelings when they weren't wrong to begin with! I was just scared. Of romantic feelings, Paul's reactions, and especially of my candy gram.

I took a look at myself in the mirror and fixed my hair a bit. Not flawless but perfect. Though the longer I stood there in the mirror the more I knew: I may barely know him but even so, I'm not the girl Paul would even awknowledge let alone _like_. But that's okay, I knew it all along anyways...but why did it feel so bad?

We decided to leave the restroom, then I decided to go back in because I thought it was too soon. I didn't want to see Paul's face. I ran back almost at the restroom door. May pulled my hand back.

"Dawn" May began, "you have to face your fears" she said in a serious tone.

Misty and May dragged me back to the classroom. Making sure I wasn't gonna run away, they gripped on my arms tight. Are they serious?

We entered the classroom. Everything was normal. I peaked in the trashcan, to my surprise I didn't see a red candy gram in there. I rushed over to Lyra.

"Lyra!" I called.

"You sure took awhile" Lyra giggled.

"Well, thanks" I told her, "anyways how come I don't see my candy gram in the trash can?" I asked.

"Oh he kept it" Lyra replied.

May and Misty exchanged looks and turned to me.

"See?" May said.

_What the hell..._I thought, "What did everyone say?"

"They thought maybe it was a secret admirer" Lyra said.

Misty laughed out rudely.

"Ugh..." Even I knew it was beyond ridiculous.

"Hey Dawn" Melody came up to me, "you sure took a long time in the restroom"

"Uh..." I rubbed my stomach looking down with a frown.

"Ooh" Melody nodded, "I see" she then turned to Misty and May.

"We came to check up on her" May told her.

"Nosy-asses" Misty retorted jokingly.

The three of us laughed softly. This years Christmas will bring much more than candy grams that's for sure, especially of May and Misty are around. Maybe even a bit of unrequited, onesided romance?

The end of the day came. May and Misty left their dorm and waited outside of mines. Piplup followed me out of my room waiting for its friends.

"Come on guys!" I announced as Piplup wobbled along to Skitty and Horsee.

"Hey" A voice greeted.

I turned around.

Paul.

"Were you the one who sent me the candy gram?" He asked.

Silence.

I decided to play it dumb, "E-eh? I don't remember sending any of those to _anyone_ really" I lied.

"Okay" he said, "Just let me know who you think it is, I promise I won't tell anyone" he then turn around.

Paul sounded sincere for the first time. Maybe he didn't want to hurt anyone. I should tell him.

"Wait" I said.

Paul turned back.

"Don't be so ridiculous enough to ask some random person, maybe you should check this person's hand writing or something" I told him.

"Oh" He replied, he again turned back and went home for the holidays.

Misty glared at me. May let out a sigh and shrugged. Our Pokemon looked up at us, having no clue what happened.

"Lets go..." I sighed then put on a smile, "We got places to be, and my house is the first place!"

The two agreed and as we exited the hallways out Pokemon tagged along with us. It didn't take long for Misty to fill up the silence with stupidity. We laughed and joked on the way home.

_Phew, that was close _I thought.


	4. Wish you were here

**After years of laziness I present you...chapter four! Sorry for the late update.**

**May's little brother is actually MY little brother in RL. i didn't think this throughly enough cuz I knew Dawn had no siblings but I still would've used her anyways XD BTW I'm not Japanese I'm Vietnamese...you'll see why that's important to not misunderstand...**

Due to the weather, the sun didn't come up as often as spring or summer anymore. Though I still found every morning to be way too bright even though outside my window always looked gray and gloomy looking when it was cold. I rose my head up greeting the cloudy morning with a groan.

"Dawn!" A child-like voice called.

A shiver shook my body as the cold feeling of my sheets being separated away from me flooded through.

"What..." I groaned looking at the person who took my blankies away.

Of course, May's little brother. We usually had sleepovers at my house every night and Max came. When weekands came, there was the warm hearted Max to make my morning cold.

"Your mom found a Milotic Dance event in the news paper! The Milotic dancers are performing today!" Max shouted excitedly, "Its going to be held in Sandgem town!"

I snatched back my blankets and ducked my head down back to bed. _No,_ I thought. _I'm too lazy to._

"Come on it'll be fun!" A cheery voice chirped in.

I turned my head towards the door. There was May, already dressed up in casual wear, along with Misty wearing what I believe the most inappropriate clothing for the weather she had to face if she went (which by the way were shorty shorts with her usual sleeveless top without the suspenders). Sigh. _If May and Misty are going then I gotta go too_, I mentally grumbled.

It took me a while to agree on whether I'd go or not. Yea that was me, the lazy ass Coordinator. It was that one part of me most people didn't know.

"Fine."

I "rolled" out of the bed and threw on clothes that were less appealing then my traveling attire. Mother wasn't very happy with it but she let me have it on. She always compalined about this outfit because its all wrinkled up.

I wore a blue shirt with white long sleeves underneath it with words. It came along with plain jeans and black boots. I guess it was the shirt that had the flaws in her eyes but she should be glad I would never go anywhere near this outfit under a thousand miles away when it came to a contest.

"Come on kids!" Mom called in Japanese. (We use half our native language and English)

Everyone jumped in the car all jumpy and excited about seeing the Milotic dance. Sure, I guess it'd be pretty interesting. But I guess being a Pokemon Coordinator through school made me lose some outside-of-training interests. I still do like Milotic dances (I prefer the Charizard ones though.)

_Jeez, time pasts by so fast,_ I thought as the car stopped in Sandgem. Seriously I was in the middle of my day dreams! Especially at my grand festival moments.

For a small town, it crowded with people. Everyone was smiling and talking. A few little trainers were wearing cheongsam_, _how cute!

Festival music boomed out loudly, laughs out-sounded the music, and there were festival games with lines of people who went back and forth.

"Wow!" Max exclaimed running to the bouncy house, even though he's younger than us he's still to old to play in _those_ I mean, the boy's in sixth grade for crying out loud!

May giggled, "Come on Dawn!" she pulled me by the arm walking towards the place with the most light. It was hella cold.

"Brr..." I shivered.

"How in shit are you cold?" Misty blurted out.

"Just because the sun is starting to come up doesn't mean the wind will stop blowing anytime soon" I retorted back jokingly.

All we actually did for most of the day was walk and talk. Mom complained about me just walking. It's not my fault for not showing as much interest, and this is me faking it so what I actually felt about coming here was a tad bit worse. Meh, moms.

It took a long time for the Milotic dance to come on. It was worth the waiting though. Max recorded it.

The rest of the day I had occupied myself and my friends by talking to them. We laughed, joked and played with our Pokemon. It kept me busy but whatever I did was a disguise for Max and my mom. (I can't date, Max is a kiss up to my mom and if they found out I liked someone I will never hear the end of it)

There was always that one and only thing on my mind that didn't leave. Yes indeed, its true. I didn't fall hard but I fell fast.

_Paul._

His name echoed in my head.

_Shinji_.

Thats his last name. How I knew it is I'm not sure. It's quite strange though.

"He can never like me back." I laughed bitterly.

Misty turned and faced me, "Your still on that, huh?"

"More or less." I said, "Its so pitiful, how I barely know him. Yet, I like him."

Misty frowned at me saying nothing.

Everything pessimistic, negative and bad ran through my thoughts. I'm so glad that these thoughts could'nt be leaked out. Except to May and Misty of course.

"I'm so stupid. if Paul found out that candy gram was from me he'd laugh."

May placed a hand on my shoulder, "That's if he finds out Dawnie."

"But I want my feelings to come out some time. To see how he also feels." I looked down.

"True." Misty said, "But the worst thing that can happen is that he doesn't like you back, and the Dawn I know is way to strong to be broken by some boy."

I laughed a bit, "You know," my toned deepend, "for a guy I barely know he sure does know how to be such a burden to my heart."

"Every girl feels that feeling" May said, "everyone does something they feel stupid about but in the end, its not a big deal anymore"

I nooded in understanding.

The rest of the day was pretty fun. The forced laughter didn't need much effort since I enjoyed a few things that were quite entertaining a lughable anyways. I remember being in a Pokemon farm land where this Milktank freaked me out and I admitted I was scared. A boy called me a scardy-Meowth and I admit, I was pretty insulted! Ahaha!

Hours passed. Finally home. I crashed onto my bed.

Comfort.

The perfect place for hiding my thoughts of Paul, is in the small space of privacy I have.

_I want to be with you, I want you to pull me into your embrace, I want my face to crash into your jacket and let your scent rub off on me. _

Those weren't my thoughts. Those are merely words that tell the pictures of my desires. My impossible imagination. The words "I like you" always rang in my head followed by his name.

_Paul..._

Repeatedly, over and over. Torture? No. Blissful? Oh I wish. But I can't possibly complain. After all, I have everything I need and I don't need him. It's just a crush.

Though I wish Paul was here. I wish he was there at the Milotic dance. Nothing more.

I wasn't selfish enough to solely wish he was mine because I have too much pride for that. I just wish he's here right now standing by me.

"I wish he'd like me back..."

Despite this I smiled, and blissfully slept, waiting for the next day to arrive with new pleasures and adventures.


End file.
